Category: Selfie stories

Message with selfie:

I’m in love with Tom Cruise. Fuck Katy Holmes.

Going to get Scientology. Go clear.

Marry Tom and make Scientology babies.

Hail Zorkon!

End message

Message with selfie:

Look into my eyes.

You know that I’m crazy.

I told you I was gonna go on every website online and let the whole world know….

BRAD HAS A LITTLE DICK!

Fuck you Brad.

End message

Message with selfie:

I have tits and a dick, you are welcome.

I go on dates as a woman and then I make a joke.

Something like: “Oh you think I’m pretty, thank you<, I have a cock, hahahha” and then I change the subject. Not one man has asked me if I have a dick.

When it comes time for sex, I say i’m on my rag but I will suck dick.

Am I a superhero?

End message

Message with selfie:

Doctors office waiting room.

Taking every opportunity to be crazy as usual.

You should be too.

There is no room in your life to wait for a better time or opportunity.

End message

Message with selfie:

I am becoming a professional rapper. Lil thick chick.

My rhyme:  All the right thickness, I come with the quickness.

If you cheat on me. I will leave you dickless.

End message

Message with selfie submission:

My daughter has been begging me for a camera.

I buy her a dslr canon with lenses. $2500.00

I walk into her room one day while she is out and see her camera.

Decide to look at what she has taken pictures of.

NOTHING BUT NUDE SELFIES.

Maybe over a thousand of them. Like this one.

I have failed as a father.

End message

Message with selfie:

I am building a bird house and need to buy nails.

I have included a picture of the wood  I plan to use so maybe you can give me an idea of what size nail to use.

Thanks in advance for advice.

End message

Message with selfie:

Sent this topless selfie to my man.

He says I look pregnant, so

I have decided to stab him in the eye.

Just not sure if I should use a fork or a corkscrew?

End message

Message with selfie:

OMG!

BBW?

FAT?

FUCK OFF!

End message

Message with selfie.

My little sister lost her contact.

We were both bent over looking for it.

Her little ass looked so good we both pulled down our panties, lined up in the mirror and snapped this naughty family member selfie.

Don’t worry, my little sister is not underage. Legal even though she has no hair on her tight young pussy.

By the way  we never found the contact.

End message.