Category: Selfie stories

Message with selfie.

If every time I see myself in a mirror

I get so turned on that I have to touch myself.

Does that mean I’m a lesbian?

End message

Message with Selfie:

Things I have had eaten from my ass.

Peanut butter, whipped cream, captain crunch cereal (almond milk), mountain dew, cocaine, and my dignity.

Looking to expand that list. Contact me at

hey.paul.wake.up.you.are.dreaming.again@not-real-life-mail.com

End message

Message with selfie:

I can only get off when I am crying for real.

FOR REAL!

Goth girl life.

End message

Message with selfie:

My boyfriend is more of a pussy, than my pussy is a pussy.

I once walked in on him masturbating and crying at the same time.

I know I’m an asshole.

Here is a picture of my asshole.

My boyfriend will never fuck my asshole.

End message

Message with selfie.

I may be dead by the time you read this.

Doctor says my ass is going to explode from all the left over McDonald’s french fry oil I have had injected into my butt

So my main question for yall is…

How much bigger you think I should go?

Till it explode?

Ya that’s what I was thinking too.

End Message

Message with selfie submission:

My name is Sam. I do not hide my identity. But I damn sure hide my face.

Daddy says an ugly face can ruin a great body. but not the other way around.

So I take nude selfies of myself and strategically crop my face out of the pictures.

End message.

Message with selfie:

Hey yall, texas gal here, So my bf took me out for dinner for valentines day, bout me flowers, chocolate and this teddie bear. All I gave him was this sexy selfie pic to look at when I’m not around (and a blow job).

Pretty sure that trumps any material gifts I could have ever bought. He was happy.

End message

Message with selfie:

Look at the shape of the bottom of my mug.

Now look at the shape of the bottom of my boob.

Now look at the shape of your life.

You’re pathetic.

End message

Message with selfie.

I hope my idiot ex boyfriend sees this.

With the clown for 4 years and he gets me crotchless panties for my birthday.

Almost better than the year before when he got me nothing because he had no job and I was paying his rent. At least steal some flowers or something.

Anyways broke up with his broke ass. let my new boyfriend fuck me in the crotch less panties.

The circle of life is complete.

End message

Message with selfie

We all get drunk, get naked and take selfies.

We joke about the 3 of us making 1 man very very happy one night.

But the way the men are these days (clowns) we also joke about becoming lesbians.

Funny how the joke isn’t funny anymore.

End message